Why Losing Your Dog Hurts So F*cking Much

“I’m in more pain from losing my dog than I was when my mother died.”
“I can’t tell anyone how bad I feel without someone saying, ‘But it’s just a dog.’”
“I feel like I’m falling apart and no one gets it.”

I’ve heard this from clients, and I’ve felt it myself. The grief that comes with losing a beloved pet is real. It’s deep. It can bring you to your knees.

While I’m focusing on dogs here, many of these feelings apply no matter what kind of companion you’ve lost—a cat, horse, rabbit, bird, guinea pig, reptile, or any other creature who made a home in your heart. Grief doesn’t measure species. It measures love.

So why does it hurt so much? Why can it feel even more unbearable than the loss of a person?

Let’s talk about it.

They Love Us Without Conditions

Your pet didn’t care if you were having a bad hair day or wearing the same stained T-shirt three days in a row. They didn’t care if you were broke, anxious, hungover, cranky, or overweight. They don’t care about our skin color, gender, religion or sexual orientation. They loved you through every mood, phase, identity, and poor outfit choices.

They didn’t ask you to change. They just wanted to be near you.

It’s rare to experience that kind of pure, uncomplicated acceptance. When you lose it, you don’t just lose your pet—you lose the one being who saw all of you and stayed close anyway.

Your Life Was Built Around Them

Losing a pet doesn’t just leave an emotional hole. It rips through your routine, your rhythms, your entire day-to-day life.

You left parties early to let them out. You scheduled vet visits, spent hours Googling skin bumps and soft stools, took goofy photos, bought matching bandanas, rearranged furniture for their comfort. You thought of them constantly—while you were out, while you were eating, while you were trying to sleep.

They were woven into your days in a million small ways. So when they’re gone, nothing feels right.

Grief isn’t just about what we miss emotionally. It’s about the structure of our lives falling apart.

We Often Grieve Alone

When a human dies, there are rituals. There’s a funeral, a memorial, a meal train. People check in. They give you space, but they also check in and show up.

But when a pet dies, you might get a few “I’m so sorry” texts. Maybe a card if you’re lucky. But the casseroles don’t show up. The neighbors don’t organize a remembrance. People move on fast or expect you to.

And even if you do have supportive people around you, they may not fully understand the depth of your grief. They might say things like, “You can get another dog” or “At least it wasn’t your child,” which can make you feel even more isolated.

The truth is, losing a pet can be as devastating as losing a person—and for many, it feels even harder. But the world doesn’t always give us permission to grieve that deeply. So we mourn in silence. And that only adds to the pain.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re feeling broken, lost, angry, numb, or like the world just doesn’t get it, please know there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re grieving someone who mattered. A lot.

And if you'd like support from someone who truly understands this kind of loss, I’m here. I offer compassionate, non-judgmental therapy for people navigating the grief of pet loss. Whether you’re drowning in sadness, guilt, or just trying to get through the day, you don’t have to carry it alone.

Reach out. Let’s talk about your pet, your love for them, and what life feels like now.