Grief’s Rollercoaster: Coping with the Loss of a Beloved Pet

When you lose a pet, it’s not just their wagging tail, gentle purr, or happy chirp you miss. It’s the quiet companionship, the routines you shared, the way they simply knew when you needed comfort. The world feels different without them, and your emotions may shift faster than you can keep up with…sadness one moment, anger the next, then guilt, then exhaustion. Grief after losing a pet is rarely tidy. It’s messy, unpredictable, and deeply human.

Loved beyond words, missed beyond measure.

Here are some of the emotions that may show up (sometimes all in the same day):

Sadness
This is often the most obvious and immediate feeling. It’s a heavy ache that can hit at random moments. You might feel it when you see their empty bed, notice their toys untouched, or go to feed them and realize you no longer need to. Sadness can be deep and exhausting, and it’s completely normal.

Numbness
Sometimes the loss feels so overwhelming that your mind and body protect you by going into emotional shutdown. You may feel disconnected, as if you’re watching life happen from the outside. Numbness can be confusing, but it’s often a temporary pause while your system catches up with the reality of the loss.

Guilt
You might replay every decision you made, wondering if you missed something or could have done more. If you chose euthanasia, you may question if it was the “right” time. Guilt often appears even when you gave your pet the very best life.

Anger
Anger will often surface after loss.  Anger at the vet, at fate, at yourself, even at people who “don’t get it.” Anger is a way of pushing back against the helplessness you feel.

Regret
You may wish you had played more, fed more treats, taken more photos, or been more patient. Sometimes regret shows up around medical care, wondering if you should have gone to the vet sooner, sought a second opinion, or tried a different treatment. Regret can feel sharp, but it’s a sign of how much you valued your time together and wanted the very best for them.

Despair
There are moments when the loss feels unbearable, like the world is a little dimmer without them. These low points can make it hard to imagine ever feeling okay again.

Lethargy
Grief is physically exhausting. You might find yourself with no energy to do the things you used to enjoy, struggling to keep up with daily life.

Confusion
It’s not unusual to feel mentally foggy, forgetful, or disoriented after such a deep loss. Your mind is working overtime trying to process an absence your heart can’t yet accept.

Why the Rollercoaster Is Normal
These emotions can appear in waves…in any order or all at once. You may have a day where you laugh at a memory, only to be in gut-wrenching agony an hour later. This doesn’t mean you’re “doing grief wrong.” It means you loved deeply, and your heart is adjusting to a new reality.

Healing isn’t about getting off the ride. It’s about finding moments of steadiness between the dips, and slowly learning to carry your love for your pet in a way that feels less crushing and more comforting.

Gentle Takeaways for Grieving Pet Owners

• Every feeling you have, even the conflicting ones, is part of grief.

• Guilt and regret are common, but they are usually signs of how much you cared, not evidence that you failed.

• Rest is part of healing. Your body and mind are working hard to adapt to loss.

• Talking about your pet, sharing memories, and saying their name can help keep their presence alive in your heart.

• There is no timetable for “moving on.” Grief changes shape over time, but love remains constant.

The ups and downs of this rollercoaster may not vanish, but in time they make room for the comfort of treasured memories. Each turn of this wild ride carries you a little closer to a place where the love remains, even if the pain softens. One day, the ache will share space with moments of warmth when you remember them.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the emotional ups and downs after losing your pet, please know you don’t have to go through this alone. Grief is heavy, but it’s lighter when shared with someone who understands. I offer pet loss and grief counseling to help you process these emotions, release some of the “what ifs,” and find ways to honor your pet’s memory while caring for yourself. You can read more about my services here or reach out to schedule a session.